Social Values

When Friends become Family   (by Agha Ali Haider)

I am an advocate of the view that family comes first in more or less each and every matter. To start with it I want to put in plain words that nowadays the family is not given its due importance as the youth of today considers friends a divine gift and increase the values of friendship through text messages and social networks such as Facebook. But this is not the fact. The only thing that can be considered as a blessing is the family, that not only cares and loves you at the time of your fullest but is also responsible to shape you when you were not able to recognize or remember who is doing good to you. Family is the only selfless and completely nonprofit organization in this world which does not demand a return and, therefore, we see most of the Holy books refer to the parents.

My emphasis in this article is not family but friends. Friends are a source of joys and the best thing is that they provide the same age fun. It is because of these friends that we learn how to interact with so many situations, share things and pass our time easily and joyfully. We can rest assure that when we are in trouble or a facing a problem, we have our friends to help us deal with it.

What I will tell you today is a step ahead of friendship and that is when friends become family. A few of us are lucky to experience a life which is completely dependent on friends and I mean a hostel or cadet life. This type of a life is different and most of the people cannot visualize this life in a long term. Here sharing does not mean sharing of thoughts and secrets, because they do not have any secrets hidden. Here sharing means toothpastes, shaving foams, sometimes clothes and money. Here gathering or stay doesn’t mean for a while or a day, but it literally refers to 24/7. Here you not only study or play together but also exercise, pray, walk, run, eat, shave, wash, and even rest together. It is not the matter of things they do together but the time they spent together which brings them closer, closer enough that they start feeling comfortable in that environment and then they form a tendency to relax among these friends and that is when I call it friends become family.

Actually the interaction here is the main theme. According to mind sciences and related social and behavior sciences when different people from different origin interact with each other, they take time to settle things but once these things settle down they become as hard as a rock. When this unique interaction takes place it also results in a lot of quarrels and actually after these quarrels the friendship becomes better. And according to the recent researches I would really sum them up to an interesting statement here and that is, the more intense they fight the stronger the bond becomes.

The involvement in the lives of each other of these friends become so much that they start counting on each other in major decisions of their careers, which is considered to be the main task of family. Another main task of family is supposed to be the one who helps his young to shape attitude, personality and helps him to adjust in the outside environment, same thing starts to be dependent upon these friends. Obviously you would want to declare it to them that they are not friends anymore. The years they spent are not just years that pass by in a blink of an eye, but are milestones that lead to the depth in their friendship. After reaching this stage of depth and strength, you get to realize that yes these are the ones who rule on you in almost every topic; therefore, calling them family would not be incorrect.